May you be strengthened in your faith unto God, and be powerful witnesses filled with His compassion!
Revelation 12:11 "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death."
I think one of my greatest struggles is trying to be blameless and keeping my heart pure when my friends/family don't do their part of friendship or family. I find myself going into relationships and giving all of my heart to love and finding myself knowing that I should continue to love even when the other leaves. It hurts because sometimes we want those relationships that are consistent, and we want to be able to trust in those special relationships and their words. In the end, it seems that many times, people will abandon us or do not keep their part of the promise, and we end up asking ourselves, "What do I do now? Should I stop trusting and believing in people? I have tried to love. I always try to make it work and what do I do when they abandon me?" It seems so unfair especially when you know that you did not do anything wrong. It's unfair that you have to continue your part of love when the other one doesn't. It seems like you're really going to kill yourself.
But the truth is that if you're not willing to die to yourself in God, you will not be able to love like the way He loves me and you. If you want to love like Jesus, be prepared to have your heart torn into pieces in this age/world. And when it happens, if there is one thing that you should remember, always remember to go to Jesus so you can be sustained and be made whole again.
I think the greatest struggle is to love and continue to believe in people and to go through the whole cycle of relationships knowing that most of it seems like it will not work. Why doesn't it seem to work a lot of times? I think it's because everyone else is struggling the same thing with believing in relationships because they have been hurt many times. The ones who do not know Jesus will call this cycle of belief and love foolishness. They will say, "You need to protect yourself and not believe in everyone." But in reality, there is no love where there is no willingness to believe in that person. I don't know how God handles it all sometimes.
Sometimes there is this part of us that wants to protect ourselves and not continue to love so we wouldn't have to endure the pain of abandonment. But I don't see Jesus stop loving even us when we leave Him. He is still waiting there. It's like the story of Hosea and his wife that was a harlot. God told him to continue to pursue and love her even though she cheated on him again and again (Hosea 2:14 “ Therefore, behold, I will allure her, Will bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her. 15 I will give her her vineyards from there, And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope. She shall sing there, As in the days of her youth, As in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt.").
If we do not continue to learn how to love and trust, we will go into bitterness. There is no middle-ground where we can say, "I'm okay being this way" without our hearts dying inside. We will find ourselves not being like how we used to be as a child. Mark 10:15 says, "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." Being able to receive the kingdom of God as a little child deals with willingness to believe. Jesus made that statement in the context of sharing about marriage and divorce.
I find myself being in this situation sometimes where I would ask myself, "Do I continue to love God or do I just give all of this up?" I don't ask, "Do I still believe in people?" because I know that I cannot go further in the knowledge of God if I cannot see what He sees in people. He is all about loving people.
I cannot keep my heart pure in all sincerity and in love if I am not sustained by the true source of Love. He is our bloodline and He is our heart. We always need to be in Him to stay alive just like how a body would die without the heart pumping blood to it. He is our heart and our source for living.
Jesus is such a perfect model of love, and He is also looking for those that can be a model of His Love on earth. We should continue to do what we see our Heavenly Father doing. We need to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus because Christ is the answer.
We need to make this assurance in our hearts and in our lives to be willing to "lay all of the cards" and everything down and say, "I am willing to believe and lay it all down on Jesus. I know and I believe that He is the only true source of Love. Through Him, I can love like Him. I know that I can always trust Him because He said that He will never leave me. He will always love me." We have to have a determination to lay it all down or else we won't be able to make it. It all goes back to this area of faith and belief. Can you believe again even though you have been messed up so many times? I want to be that model of Jesus, and I believe I have seen so much of how Christ has been there for me that I will say, "Undeniably, everything He said that He is... It is really true. It is completely true. Christ is love."